Tuesday, 5 August 2014

time has grown old

     Life is precisely not too obnoxious always. With all ambidextrous gesture it both nourishes and perishes. With every passing moment, there is possibility to be more destined to encounter God. Superciliousness and ambivalence are only by-products of becoming old of a gauche while godliness is supplementary to growing old.  Grow old with time and beyond it; grow as old as God himself in way that spiritual equality is reached;- love is made only then, love is born only then. It was only my one year younger me, who under a subtle spiritual colonization would treat the 'August offer' as a dominion status! 
     Unconsciously vacillating between hope and fear, there stood a disguised unemployed in the developing economy of love, oblivious of his marginal-productivity-zero. The light was red indicating 'you pause', making the room for another to deliver an yield. The only possible contribution that I could always make to creativity was this much passivity,- a pause just before the threshold of climax, panting with bovine indifference. But magic happens sometimes! Sometimes the door is opened  even during the red signal of abstinence and accident happens, with blood, tears, cry and with loss of so loved identities. The woman is at ease and now it's up to the man to be bold enough to ask for the weight of his jaw muscle on the apple before the banishment from plenty of economy down to the dearth of it, a world of vicious circle of personal-time poverty... Bring it on!       
       It was not only the creation that got banished, the creator got banished too. Intimacy caused the spiritual mutation, a process of change, development, neither good nor bad- just a change, the process of growing old had already begun. Wish got detached from instinct. God became fragmented in multitudes of equal potency with our banishment. Then craving met impulse and created a society of psycho-sexuality with hope and optimism in it. Now faith meets the society and becomes religion. There stood the goggle-eyed catatonic, a tyro of religion, a fragment of multitudes: they showed me the genital but I did not notice. I was looking deep into the eyes, you tiny fragment, I did not know it was a boy!  And for the first time, quite contrary to the bliss of carpediem, for a moment or two, at exactly 11:59 daytime, we, losing pace with time, paused unchanged, still. Only time moved on and started to grow old in the small society of our celestial togetherness. That time is now one year old! 

 

14 comments:

  1. Time has grown old but the memories are young. Now its 'August offer', lets prepare for Mountbatten plan. In the developing economy of love, there will be no deficit. Always 'Surplus'. Wish the Little Star a very happy birthday!!

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  3. Jst amazing sir.....

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  4. পোষাল না। রাতটা ভেবেছিলাম জেগেই কাটাব, কিন্তু শরীর সাথ দিল না। তোর লেখাটা আমায় হটাত বছর ২ বা তার কিছু আগের একটা দিনের কথা মনে পড়িয়ে দিল, যেদিন তুই হটাত ফোন করে বলেছিলিস, 'গাঁড় মারা গেছে...'। আসলে এই 'আগস্ট অফার' তোকে সাইন করতেই হত। সেটা তুই যথেষ্ট বিচক্ষনতার সাথে করেছিস এটাই ভাল কথা। তাই তোদের দেখে একটাই কথা মনে হল, 'ছোট্ট সময়'টার সাথে সাথে 'বড় সময়'টারও বয়স হচ্ছে, সেই বড় হচ্ছে, বুড়ো হচ্ছে। নোয়ার সাথে দেখা না করে চলে আসাটা আমার ঠিক হয়নি, পরে খারাপ লাগছিল, আর অবিশ্বাস্য হলেও খারাপ লাগছিল অর্চি 'র জন্য। কেন বলতো? ভোর বেলা আমার কোলে কিছুক্ষন মাথা ঘষছিল বলে?

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    1. @supriya: this is how it starts always, with a rejection or at least with suspicion. And this is how it ends too;- with a sense of dissatisfaction (mitilo na saad, porojonme jeno abar tomake pai). The question is what we actually want in our "porojonmo"? ... Love for life or love of life?

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    2. eta evabe ek kothai bola somvob na j 'what we actually want in our "porojonmo"?botol niye bose alochona korte hobe.tobe amar mone hoyeche disha hinota amader sobtheke besi vogache,,,ekkothai amra holam 'confused projonmo'..

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  6. Rudro Mukherji, you got deep in it!

    my favorite part is "But magic happens sometimes! Sometimes the door is opened even during the red signal of abstinence and accident happens, with blood, tears, cry and with loss of so loved identities.".

    I think being a father is really one more step ahead into spirituality, that's why I liked the connection between both subjects!

    Really surprising, for an ex-atheist, now a mystic (?) poet - I said it 'coz that's the same way I define myself, despite of being Christian.

    Thank you for this pleasant reading!
    .................... Paulo Nunes (Brazil)

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    1. thanks Paulo. Not only being a father, living every moment is spiritual in it self.

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  7. Absolutely fascinating Rudro... it has got everything in ..it has enlightened life itself and paved a path of hope to be followed and the opening line that life is not obnoxious always definitely will force a pessimist to become an optimist and love life as it is and love what it brings ....cheers

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  8. Absolutely fascinating Rudro... it has got everything in ..it has enlightened life itself and paved a path of hope to be followed and the opening line that life is not obnoxious always definitely will force a pessimist to become an optimist and love life as it is and love what it brings ....cheers

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    1. thank you Amit. ya true, to love life you have to accept life as it is...

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